Hello again dear readers/writers!
I’ve been a way for a while. Actually, I’ve moved. From Sackville to Rothesay. Bought a bungalow. It was the longest closing date in history (almost a year), so that’s what I’m using as my excuse for not blogging. And since we’re talking about excuses I thought I’d share some with you – in case you ever run out of your own. Here goes:
1. That’s the most boring sentence I’ve ever read. Seriously.
2. I will never be able to write like Ernest Hemmingway. I should give up now.
3. I would rather work in a restaurant. Again.
4. If I could write one good sentence I would feel better.
5. I should quit the narrative and work on the plot.
6. My feet are cold and this is boring. My hands are cold, too, by the way.
7. If my dog would stop sighing I could get more done. I can hear him blinking and it’s really annoying.
8. I should write non-fiction. I should write about my dog.
9. I’ve written more words in this conversation with myself than in my novel. (Can I include that in my word count?)
10. I can hear water rustling in some inner chamber of my ear. Especially if I pull on my ear lobe. My ear lobe hurts.
11. I should start over and write this all in the present tense. Past tense. First person. Whatev.
12.I’m too old for this; I should have started writing in my twenties.
13. This is a complete waste of time. Maybe I need an outline. Or a cup of tea. Or a walk with my dog.
You may have some to add to this. I’d love to hear them. And if you need a laugh, even if you’re not a writer, check out Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. It’s from 1994 but it’s still hilarious, just like her.
In an upcoming post I’ll have helpful tips from Louise de Salvo’s book, The Art of Slow Writing. I’ve read dozens of good books on writing – from Stephen King to Natalie Goldberg and beyond. But De Salvo covers the territory deeply, gently and patiently, just as she advocates approaching writing. I learned that other writers do, indeed, have weird conversations with themselves. But I’d still like to hear yours.